"I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat."

My favourite joke I heard a few weeks ago. One of the contenders at the Edinburgh fringe. Fitting start to a blogging entry about trying to become happy and fulfilled.

Something occurred to me a short while ago which I forget and remember again over a period of months; I suffer from exhaustion. Sell diagnosed, but sleeping late and getting 5 - 7 hours sleep regularly while tackling a regular gym and football schedule is playing havoc on my mind and I forget about it often. Its like standing beneath a cloudy sky which moves between different shades, from violently dark to glistening white. When you forget what it used to be like to be happy and carefree, that's like forgetting what the sun looks like through the clouds.

You stand and squint trying to see through but you can't make it out. At Essex University I was different, I was more buoyant, I held a conversation while making good jokes, I ENJOYED holding conversations and not wanting to go off and stop thinking about what to say. I thought it was because university life was so fun and energetic that I became depressed back here. But I think it was the fact that 5/7 days a week at uni I slept in and got at least 8 hours sleep. I was happy!

I think being exhausted and distant from people caused me to lose one of my best friends at the start of 2010. I'm tired of being tired. I feel at my best when I'm making people feel at their best. I'm going to start getting extra sleep, at least 8 hours on a regular basis. Hopefully then I will entertain my friends more fully. It will be hard seeming as I stay up late to talk to my friends in the US, I'll find other times. Besides, I snapped at one of my best friends Diva not long ago, maybe I wont have any friends anyway if I keep this up. Hopefully it'll make for better blogs too! I'll keep you updated.

Anyways THIS blog is also about the gig I went to on Thursday night with the lovely Ant and Carolina. The Holloways were in town for one night only and we intended to see them. I was on board last minute due to the lovely introduction I had with Rob Skipper and Dave Danger on Tuesday, I figured this week would be a fun week to get over the exhaustion and general down feeling. (I had also remembered something nutty I once told my lost friend and I was down for not being able to apologise for such a thing.)

Camden is always the place to get lost in fantasy however. I was slightly concerned that my shirt, necklace and no-belt ensemble made me look a trifle homosexual but as Ant pointed out his bright red jeans and shaved head made him take the crown for indie/possible man lover of the evening. The walk there was nippy and rainy but after some confusion we got into a mostly empty gig. The Holloways had fallen over the months from quasi-fame and were between drummers and guitarists so it seemed like it was going to be a pretty tame crowd.

Bought my only drink of the night, a loooooovely koppenberg, the best cider/booze in the world, delightfully tasting and fruity as fuck. Marvelous. We bagged seats and waited for the first band, who came on and announced they were replacing someone who pulled out which they admitted was lucky for them. I would say it was lucky for us considering the lead singer LOOKED LIKE THIS!!

Booyaa!!

I mean sweet Jesus. Ant disagrees but I think shes sexier then Megan Fox and its more then just being scantily clad and wearing a pointless belt and what looks to be a pair of pink mens y-fronts. She was quite lovely. Anyhoo she was an ok singer but Milk seemed intent of playing songs which revolved around 1) Partying and 2) More Partying, so it was just a decent warm up if that.

The second band were called Sissy and the Blisters, quite tall bunch of chaps with Franz Ferdinand style appeal. I disapproved of the identical hairstyle for all members which is just weird in my books but they were pretty ok to watch, especially when the guitarist/keyboard played got pissed off at the lead singer who was so entirely off his nut from drugs that it was funny. Then not funny. Then funny again.

Same haircuts :\

Finally the Holloways arrived and bashed out some of their greatest hits. Ant tapped my shoulder to tell me apparently the gorgeous lead singer of Milk was on my right cheering them on. I refused to be that guy that turns, stares and trys not to drool however so I was boring and kept my eyes front.

Hoooolloways

I thought the Holloways did a decent job of it to be honest. They played most of their set list including two left feet and the obligatory Generator. They missed Alcohol which I remember being quite good but played 3 new ones, all of varying success. They came with a brand new guitarist and drummer since I last saw, the guitarist was in a class of his own with regards to skill, he was at 12 o clock in front of me and the guitar pluckings he was yanking out of the thing looked depressingly difficult. Alfie, the lead singer also played the guitar well and with menacing ability but thinking back I believe his chords were so unusual to me as I play left handed. It is surprisingly hard to identify chords the other way round. Right handed weirdos.

Ant was less then impressed with the Holloways. Being a big fan he suggested that this was his worst viewing in 12 viewings of the band; and lest not forget viewing #11 ended with him being arrested. So you can imagine how this time wasn't up to his high standards. Still we all had a good generator and two left feet dance and they played all their songs to a fairly high standard, just lacking in a bit of heart it appears.

LONG blog today. Not as knackered as I usually am, and soon I hope to improve them with more jokes and quips. More of the word 'trifle' in future I hope. I do love a good 'trifle'.

Until next time folks.

Finito!